leave a legacy

Leave a Legacy – The Expectant Father

I've been in panic mode during the last five or six years because I'm desperately trying to leave a legacy for my kids.  

When my wife told me we were going to have our first child in 2010 something inside of me went off like a time bomb.  We both had pretty good jobs but for some reason I felt like I wasn't going to be able to provide for our new family.  I desperately searched for ways to make more money even though we were doing just fine.  

I paced endlessly and lay in bed staring at the ceiling thinking of entrepreneurial ventures I could start.  Part of me has always wanted to own my own business but this was more than than that, this was a nagging feeling of inadequacy at being able to raise kids and give them all I want to give them. 

My obsession with starting a business and making more money led to many fights with my wife.  She would always say...

No matter what kind of business I create or how much money I make, the best things you'll ever create in this world are your kids and family.  

Wow.  She's awesome, right?

But those feelings of inadequacy still persisted.  ​

​Considering My Mortality 

leaving a legacy

When my wife was pregnant she read the 'What to Expect When You're Expecting' book and I read 'The Expectant Father.'  

I highly recommend this book for any soon-to-be Dad's.  It's awesome!  It gave me great insight on how my life will completely change beyond just having a new little person in our house.  

It talked about those feelings of inadequacy I was having about wanting to provide for my family and it also gave some insight on how many father's will start to evaluate their lives and consider their mortality.  

That was and definitely still is me!  Everything I do these days is for my wife and two kids.  

I've grown grass in our yard, planted trees for both our kids, built furniture​, built a fire-pit, created art for the walls, considered multiple business ideas...the list of things I've created or tried to create goes on and on.  

And I'm not mentioning these things to boast, I'm mentioning them because I'm desperately trying to leave a legacy for my kids when I'm gone.  Even this website is me trying to leave a legacy!

It may sound depressing but it's the truth.  

​There Is No Sadness

Even though some Daddy's go through these feelings of inadequacy, there is no sadness...at least not for me.  

I'm very, very happy.  I've never been happier!

One of my favorite things to do is stay home in my man cave and build something​.  Whether it's a table, a dresser or a work bench, I love spending time alone listening to music and creating something special.  

leave a legacy

I get a great sense of peace from building furniture because in the back of my mind I always think about how when I'm gone one day my kids will have these pieces of furniture to look back upon.  

That's why I always sign and date them.  

I should also mention that the book says not all Daddy's experience these feelings so if you're not planting grass or building tables, it's OK...you're still a good Dad!​

An Understanding Spouse

My wife is awesome.  When my DIY Daddy instincts kicked in she totally understood.  

We already had a TV stand and a nice kitchen table and grass wasn't all that important to her but she understood my need to build things.  She told me to do what I have to do.  

I'm not making much more money than I was five years ago but I don't have those feelings of inadequacy as much as I used to. For me I guess it wasn't about making more money, the planting trees and furniture building is fulfilling my need to leave a legacy.  

But then again, maybe what she told me a few years ago is what's fulfilling me?

​No matter what kind of business I create or how much money I make, the best things you'll ever create in this world are your kids and family.

​She's so right...I've already created my legacy.  

Josh

Husband | Daddy | Writer | DIY Wannabe

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