The Time Trey Showed Us the Way
It's been a couple months since Trey started preschool, we've definitely noticed some changes in him.
Leading up to preschool, Trey chose to wear dresses, pretty pink colors and colorful shoes. He's even said he wished he was a girl on more than one occasion. We've always been supportive of letting him be who he wants to be but we've never been absolutely sure if Trey really has these feelings inside or if he's trying to be like his big sister?
We've been preparing ourselves for either scenario. By joining Facebook groups and asking questions to parents in similar situations we've been learning as much as we can. As always, Randa is so proactive and she's his best advocate, she's the greatest Mom ever! We've got some very supportive family and friends too.
Trey is experiencing social norms at preschool and society in general and sometimes it's very hard to take for us as his parents, and I'm positive it's even harder on him.
Randa will give him options about what to wear in the morning and his answer is different depending on what they're doing that day. He always wears typical boy clothes to preschool now. But then yesterday he didn't have preschool so when Randa told him the only thing they'll be doing that day is going to the dance studio for parents day, he requested a dress.
Randa and I discuss what he's going through and we wonder if he's stifling who he really wants to be because of the reactions he get from his peers sometimes? Or is he a boy who didn't know social norms say boys don't wear dresses?
It's so difficult to know what his heart is saying. And it's also difficult not to respond to other kids who make fun of him with snarky comments of our own.
Is this what happens to kids who are unsure about who they are? Do they put their feelings in a box and hope they go away? Is this why it's so difficult for people to 'come out of the closet' in later years?
I can sit here and tell everyone how difficult this is on us as parents but what's really important to remember is how hard this could be on Trey and others in the same situation. Society can be so unfair.
All we can do as his family is support him and let him lead the way. Our doors are always open.